Two years ago we lost out on a house on Maple Lane, but when I took this picture we didn’t know it yet. We were so excited to finally be looking at getting into a house and out of the apartment. We walked around downtown Newburgh hoping to hear our offer was accepted. But it wasn’t. At the time, we were gutted.

But timing is everything.

The older I get, the more I understand this concept. The older I get, the more I’m able to look back and see the different strings that intertwine to make the current pattern of our lives.

It’s difficult to understand why things are or aren’t happening as they happen. It took us a year to sell our house in Kentucky. A year of living in a one bedroom apartment in a new city and working an hour away. We found our current house fifteen minutes after it went on the market and we made our offer the next day. It’s my favorite home. Timing was everything.

It took us three years to have Sawyer. Three years of praying and hoping, doctor visits and various interventions. We found out I was pregnant three months after moving into our house. And he was due at the end of the school year (after state testing!). God’s timing, not ours, was perfect.

While living them, those stretches of time seemed like eons. Yet from where I am sitting now, I can look back and see the course clearly. Because our home took forever to sell, we were able to scoop up our new home.

Waiting those years for Sawyer gets us through sleepness nights and fussy spells.

So many things had to work together for us to be where we are, a place I am thankful for daily. I try remind myself of that when I can’t understand why things work out the way they do. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll be able to see it clearly.

As for now, Sawyer is coming up on his first birthday and I am now snuggly ensconced in my thirties. We’ve been in our home for almost two years. What’s the saying? The days are long but the years are short. I definitely understand this more now than ever.

♥️,
Mrs. Mama

My crazy has a time stamp: March 2, 2018; 8:29 AM.

It was then that I texted my mother-in-law and sister-in-law that I would do the Silo District 5K  with my MIL, while my SIL runs the half marathon (she is a Legit Runner).  Now, for some of you, you probably laughed out loud and thought, “seriously? It’s just a 5K!”

Let me make this clear: I am not a runner. I have never been a runner. So the only explanation there is can be this: I went crazy.

Here we are a few weeks later, and I have an entirely new set of running vocabulary words: cadence, foot strike, pace, pronation, supination. I even upgraded my three year old Nikes for this thing.

I am excited and terrified all at the same time. It’s going to be fun. It’s going to help me get in shape. But at the same time I probably look like a caveman just clomping along down the road when I run. So there’s that.

It’s also going to be my first time away from little man, which is a bit nerve-wracking. Don’t get me wrong, Matthew is more than capable. He and Sawyer will have the best boy’s weekend. I’m just an emotional wimp and miss him when I don’t see him for a day. Those of you that have kiddos: do you have any tips for my first trip away?

Runners: do you have any tips for my first 5K?

Wish me luck (and pray I don’t trip)!
♥, Mrs. Mama

P.S.- I finally saw The Greatest Showman in theaters (even though I’m pretty sure you can buy it at this point) and it is AMAZING. The soundtrack is PHENOMENAL. I could talk about this movie in all-caps ALL DAY LONG. But I won’t. Just go watch it.

To say I have Type-A tendencies would be a vast understatement. I am a perfectionist. I am a planner. I tend to be impatient and super time-aware (sorry, family). My brain is constantly in a state of “re-calculating” as to how things will get done and how I am going to manage everything. I show up early everywhere, because being late is the worst. I value efficiency and rationality.

But being Type A and motherhood weren’t mixing well for me.

The “flow” was not something I’ve ever gone with, it has been something I’ve tried to establish and control. But it doesn’t really work that way anymore.

Sawyer doesn’t work on a schedule. At least not completely. If he saw my to-do list he would try to rip it up and shove it in his mouth. Sure, he has his routines. He has his typical nap times and eating times. But those fluctuate and I’ve had to adapt.

I’m learning to cut myself some slack. If I’m a few minutes late, I don’t panic. It isn’t the end of the world and my pulse doesn’t race if I’m running behind.  If my to-do list isn’t done each day, I simply shift things forward.

Being a stay at home mom has challenged this also. Not from a parenting aspect, but from an organizational stand point. What is my day supposed to look like when it isn’t organized into neat little blocks or periods?

I’m still learning. Little man and I are getting some nice routines down. We are learning to organize our days together. But it shifts and changes. I know I am no longer fully in control of the flow. I’m trying to go with it though.

So maybe instead of Type A, I can be a Type A-.

♥, Mrs. Mama

I’m not losing my mind, I’m just a new mom.

Mom brain is very real, my friend. Once upon a time, I had a great memory (don’t let my husband or parents tell you otherwise!). But seriously, I’ve always prided myself on having my act together.

Then Sawyer came along and said, “no mom, sorry, that can’t happen anymore.”

In cleaning off the counters, I tried to put a pen in the dishwasher.
Keys have ended up in the pockets of jackets I don’t wear.
Pacifiers have been found in the most random of places.
I’ve left the house with mascara on one eye only.
I’ve walked out the door without shoes…more than once.

I had read about Mom Brain and thought that as Sawyer got a bit older, it’d fade. HA. Mom brain is a cruel mistress who taunts me as I’m making plans and says, “Yeah, you’re probably going to forget that.” And it hasn’t faded.

So I’ve had to reevaluate how I go about things. I’ve had to slow down a lot. I double-check and triple-check everything constantly just to make sure I haven’t left a stove on or water running. I make lists about what lists I need.

This is my new normal. I’ve always kept a paper planner, but it has gotten even more detailed in the last few months. I’ve become more purposeful in how I schedule things in order to make it easier on myself. I’m trying not to take on too much at one time.

Yet despite the brain fog, I absolutely love my new normal: there’s a little boy napping upstairs who smiles when he sees me and laughs easily. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.