If you know me, you know I’m not a big fan of change. I’ll never win an award for “most spontaneous”. I’m a planner. An organizer. An analyzer. I once made a list of lists that needed making. But I’ve discovered something over the last few months.

Change isn’t always bad. They don’t have to be scary and anxiety-inducing.

There were some changes in my life I needed to make. First and foremost was my health. I love food. But I was loving it too much. I enjoy watching TV, but I was enjoying it too much (bye bye, Netflix!).

So, inspired by Matthew, I started a training program for a 5k. I needed to get healthier and get outside.
Inspired by the scale, I joined Weight Watchers. My relationship with food HAD to change.

Next, I wanted to do something for me. Something that I could channel creativity into. I can’t knit. I can’t focus long enough to cross-stitch (I tried). Scrapbooking isn’t my cup of tea. In comes the planner community: people who have turned their love of planning, crafting, and organizing into this massive creative movement. Inspired by them, I made an Instagram for my planning hobby to get more involved.

It’s not about me trying to change and be someone new. It’s about trying to develop into a better, more well-rounded version of myself who isn’t controlled by bad habits.

Running isn’t easy (one day I’ll master breathing in through my nose). Weight Watchers isn’t always fun (but cupcakes every day would be worse in the long run). And my planner isn’t always the prettiest. But I’m taking ownership over my habits and focusing on improving them.

They’re small changes that will hopefully have a big impact!

What about you? Any big changes on the horizon?

♥

“It doesn’t get easier, but you get better.”

I saw this quote once on a late night Instagram scrolling binge when I was up nursing Sawyer in the middle of the night. At the time I remember thinking that it wasn’t very helpful. I really wanted things to get easier. Being a new mom was rough.

But things didn’t get any easier.  Instead, I got better. I don’t think parenting will ever be “easy”, but I am getting better at handling the day-to-day.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would reach a point where I’d be able to run multiple errands at a time with the kiddo or take spontaneous trips to the zoo, I would have laughed. Out loud. Possibly in their face (and then apologized profusely, because that would have been super rude).

But that doesn’t mean it has gotten easier. I just have more practice under my belt. I’m better at preparing for the hiccups.

Once, if it wasn’t on my to-do list, I would panic at the thought of any variation in schedule. I still struggle sometimes with the anxiety of planning, but I know I’m capable of getting all of it done. I know I can make it work, whatever it is.

The same goes for running. In May, I “ran” my first 5k (let’s be real, three two-minute intervals in and I was practically wheezing and my shins were on fire). I have two more scheduled this year that *hopefully*, I’ll actually run the full time. Matthew and I have been doing a training plan through the MapMyRun app. I’m on week 12 and it hasn’t gotten easier. But I have gotten better. My shins still ache from time to time, but it’s nothing some well-placed KT Tape can’t fix.

So whatever you are struggling with, it may not get easier, but you will get better. Your burdens may not get lighter to carry, but your shoulders will get stronger.

♥

I struggle sometimes with what to write. I try to think about what is going on in my life at the time and what I think would help the most to get written down.

Sometimes I know exactly what I want to write, but have no idea how to put it into words.

Today is one of those days. I read a bible verse today that really hit me: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.” To me, this speaks of contentment and thankfulness.

Am I content? Have I made decisions that have left me at peace? Am I accepting of the life I have been assigned? Do I show my appreciation for it?

Over the last few weeks, I have really struggled with this (one day, I may be brave enough to talk about it fully, but today is not that day). But the answer is yes, I am. I am so happy with the life I have.

Sometimes we fight and struggle for things and we attain them (Sawyer, for instance). Sometimes things fall into our lap without so much as a thought. Sometimes though, we fight and push and pray, and it’s simply not in our cards (like a second child). It’s not part of our assignment. (I can hear Mick Jagger singing about not getting what I want as I write this.)

As a teacher, I appreciate the assignment metaphor. I assign work and expect it to be done and reward effective completion. But the kids aren’t always a fan of the assignment. They complain or whine or disregard it all together. Yet, I can’t be like those students.

When it comes to life, the life God has given me, I’m not supposed to be that way. God has given me this life to live and I need to make sure I’m always thankful for it. I need to have faith that “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28). God’s plans are always better than my own.

Keep in mind, that’s not saying one shouldn’t strive to reach their goals or achieve their dreams. I have so much I’d like to achieve in this life that I’ve yet to do, and I plan to do them (Google the Manitou Incline in Colorado and you’ll have an idea). It’s just a matter of being thankful each day for what I do have and not lamenting what I think I lack.

So that’s what I’m going to strive for: thankfulness and contentment each day. I have an amazing husband and an amazing son. What else could I possibly need?

What about you? What are you striving for? What are you thankful for?

♥

Sawyer turned one and overnight he became this romping, stomping toddler (who has discovered the ability to assert himself dramatically). Life got busy. And then even busier. And I haven’t had a post up in a while. 

But it’s never too late to set a goal (or goals, in this case). It’s never too late to start fresh. Despite being a stay at home mom, I can’t give up my academic year planner*. Something about nearing the end of July signals that it’s about time to start again.  So that’s what I’m doing. If I tell you my goals, I think that will better hold me accountable to them.

Goals for the 2018-2019 academic year:
1. Post once a week (suggestions on topics?)
2. Get back into daily Bible study (I’ve been working on this for a bit, but it can always improve).
3. Read and finish the book for the book club I’m in each month. (A friend and I joined a book club, so I’m stepping out of my comfort zone there.)
4. Develop a healthier lifestyle (walking, jogging, not eating garbage).
5. Write handwritten notes to people every other week (I still love getting notes in the mail, maybe others do, too).
6. Start Baby Bins with Sawyer. They’re a great way to introduce new concepts and the hard work is already done.

They’re simple goals, but if I keep them up they will give me a sense of accomplishment.

What are your goals for the 2018-2019 school year?

♥,
Mrs. Mama

 

*It seems I also can’t give up my usual back to school dreams. This one involved not having a syllabus prepared on the first day (always a part of the dream, since I began my teaching career) and also not knowing where my classroom was.

I completed my first 5k this past weekend.
For many, a 5k is a breeze. It’s a warm-up. It’s what some do if they don’t have time for a full run.

For me, it was hard and sweaty and difficult. I wasn’t able to run the entire thing. I wasn’t able to run half of it. I ached afterward.

But I tried. I finished.

Throughout the race and events leading up to it, I was surrounded by motivational phrases splashed across posters and signs around the race area. The one that stuck out the most to me was on a leather sign in Magnolia Market that simply said, “Don’t stop until you’re proud.”

Well, I’m not proud yet. Not fully. I can do better. I want to do better. Let me be clear, running isn’t fun for me. I don’t get lost in thought while running. I can’t meditate while running. For me, it’s one foot in front of the other. The feeling when I finished, knowing I did it, that was the fun part. I want to feel that way again. I liked the sense of accomplishment that came at the finish line.

So I’m going to keep trying. I want to be healthy enough and strong enough that a 5k becomes a breeze. So, that’s my goal.

The 5k I went to this past weekend was a blast. It was the Inaugural Silo District Marathon/Half/5k hosted by Chip and Joanna Gaines (of Fixer Upper fame) for the Brave Like Gabe Foundation to support research for rare cancers. Waco, Texas was a fun and much-needed girl’s trip!

In my next post I’ll give you a run down on all things Fixer Upper tourism/Magnolia Market at the Silos!

♥️,
Mrs. Mama

I have no problem admitting that I need time on my own every so often. I need to recharge and relax. Matthew needs the same thing. We have often discussed how important it is to have our own things going on and time to ourselves every now and then.

Take last week for example. Matthew and some buddies spent the week hunting, pre-dawn to dark. In turn, I went to the in-laws to avoid being a “hunter’s widow” (Google it, it’s a thing).  Spending time in the outdoors is important to Matthew, so I wanted to make sure he got as much out of it as possible. This coming weekend, I’m heading to Waco, Texas with my mother and sister-in-law and a friend to participate in the Silo District Marathon/Half-Marathon/5k. Sawyer is staying behind with his Dada so that I can focus on my 5k and enjoy a girl’s trip.

Some may argue with me, but husbands and wives don’t have to do everything together or have every single thing in common.  I’m not a hunter and Matthew is okay with that. Matthew doesn’t want to sit and read for hours on end and I’m okay with that. Furthermore, we encourage one another to develop our individual hobbies. Matthew is learning sign language and I’m learning to cross-stitch. We respect the things that make us individuals.

On the other side of that coin, it’s important that Matthew and I make time for the things we do have in common. We both like fishing. We both enjoy archery. We both enjoy similar movies. I think because we take time for ourselves, we value more the things that bring us together.

When Sawyer grows up, hopefully he will develop his own individual hobbies and interests and we want to establish an environment for him where discovery of said hobbies is encouraged.

What do you think? How do you make time for your hobbies? If your married, how do you all encourage one another in this area? If you have kids, how do you encourage them in developing their interests?

♥,
Mrs. Mama

Two years ago we lost out on a house on Maple Lane, but when I took this picture we didn’t know it yet. We were so excited to finally be looking at getting into a house and out of the apartment. We walked around downtown Newburgh hoping to hear our offer was accepted. But it wasn’t. At the time, we were gutted.

But timing is everything.

The older I get, the more I understand this concept. The older I get, the more I’m able to look back and see the different strings that intertwine to make the current pattern of our lives.

It’s difficult to understand why things are or aren’t happening as they happen. It took us a year to sell our house in Kentucky. A year of living in a one bedroom apartment in a new city and working an hour away. We found our current house fifteen minutes after it went on the market and we made our offer the next day. It’s my favorite home. Timing was everything.

It took us three years to have Sawyer. Three years of praying and hoping, doctor visits and various interventions. We found out I was pregnant three months after moving into our house. And he was due at the end of the school year (after state testing!). God’s timing, not ours, was perfect.

While living them, those stretches of time seemed like eons. Yet from where I am sitting now, I can look back and see the course clearly. Because our home took forever to sell, we were able to scoop up our new home.

Waiting those years for Sawyer gets us through sleepness nights and fussy spells.

So many things had to work together for us to be where we are, a place I am thankful for daily. I try remind myself of that when I can’t understand why things work out the way they do. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll be able to see it clearly.

As for now, Sawyer is coming up on his first birthday and I am now snuggly ensconced in my thirties. We’ve been in our home for almost two years. What’s the saying? The days are long but the years are short. I definitely understand this more now than ever.

♥️,
Mrs. Mama